What is it about footballers? As soon as they start earning a few quid they seem to ditch the advice of their local barber and doing their own do. Is there some kind of secret footballing society were player’s get together and take it in turns to do each other’s hair while blindfolded and wearing three pairs of keeper’s gloves? Exactly where do footballs worst haircuts come from?
At times it seems there’s just no escaping it, if you want to be one of the world’s greatest players, sooner or later you have to have sported one of football’s worst haircuts. So here’s a quick countdown of the very best of the very worst.
10. El Shaarawy’s Pharaoh Cut
Italian wunderkind and all round cheeky chap El Shaarawy has been compared to a number of football superstars: Lionel Messi, Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar. He might play like some of them, but he looks much more like a cross between Ramesses II and a pineapple.
9. Ronaldo’s Half Cut
Brazil most likely won the 2002 World Cup because every team they faced were still waiting for the rest of Ronaldo’s hair to finish buffering. To be fair, this was still in the days of dial up.
8. Roberto Baggio’s Rat’s Tail
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a mullet with braids. That Baggio managed to create a worse hairstyle than the mullet is surely his greatest accolade.
7. Djibril Cisse’s Green Mohawk
2008 was a great year for football: Portsmouth won the FA Cup, Fabio Capello’s England beat Germany and one Frenchman did what no man had dared to do before him… sport a bright green mohawk with bleach blonde mutton chops.
6. Taribo West’s Tassels
Nigerian international defender Taribo West first burst onto the football scene with bright green dreadlocks. By the time he ended his career, his dreadlocks turned into miniscule tufts of grass, like little pieces of broccoli sprouting from the brain of a bona fide nutter.
5. Marouane Chamakh’s Mullet
Here’s a tip: if you’re balding and you want to cover it up, don’t slap buckets of gel on it to the point where it looks as if you’ve just survived a close encounter with a flamethrower.
4. Fode Mansare’s Curtains
Former Toulouse FC and Guinea national team regular Fode Mansare is not particularly well known for his goalscoring prowess. That’s largely because he has spent most of his career with what looks like a tarantula clinging onto his scalp for dear life; it tends to steal the spotlight away from his on the ball antics.
3. Rene Higuita’s Mop
We’ve got nothing but respect for the madman Columbian goalkeeper that invented the Scorpion Kick and out dribbled countless strikers, but his thick black mop looked as crazy and chaotic as his sweeper keeper style of play.
2. Gervinho’s Parted Braids
This man’s braids part further away from the centre of his head each day, revealing a cranium that’s terrifyingly large and growing at an alarming pace. If knowledge is power, then we have a lot to fear from our future overlord.
1. David Beckham’s Cornrows
He’s become one of the greatest style icons of all time, in fact you’d be hard pressed to find a local five-a-side team that haven’t copied at least one of his many famous hairstyles but when he went tropical with Caribbean style corn rows it proved that even the world’s most fancied man can get things (MASSIVELY) wrong. Becks, what were you thinking?!?
Have your say…
Do you think we’ve missed a bad haircut? Has one of your own team mates got an even worse hair cut? It’s time to name and shame the follicle offenders. Let us know and we’ll include the best of the worst in our article.